Julia Christine•20•Vegan•Minnesota
In love with the God of the Universe
i am all about gray foggy mornings in late autumn when there’s a chill and a shiver in my body. mornings that call for large sweaters and rain boots. standing in the woods with pine and rain and smoke in the air. or standing at the edge of the ocean with salt in your mouth and the wind in your hair. the feeling of being both lost and found at the same time. the promise of returning home in your hands. a lick of winter at your heels.
Fall has always been my favorite season. The time when everything bursts with its last beauty, as if nature had been saving up all year for the grand finale.
I think if you’re depressed it’s really good to let yourself feel things. I don’t mean emotions. I mean physically feel things. Pour yourself a hot cup of tea or coffee and snuggle up in your bed or on your couch and just feel the warmth radiating from the mug. When you get out of the shower let yourself feel the cold air on your wet skin. Stand still for a moment on a windy Autumn day and feel the air wrap around your head and embrace you. Walk barefooted on a beach, feel the sand and the cool water, or better yet walk on some grass in the summer, feel the fresh dew kissing your feet. Wake up early and feel the heat of the early morning sun on your face. You might feel totally numb right now but you can still feel these things. They exist. You exist. You matter. You’ll be okay.
If you start living for the smallest reasons, that’s when you know you’re really living. The smell of rain after a thunderstorm, the shades of pavements when it’s autumn, the harvest season and the unspoken competition to pick the freshest tomatoes, the mediocre midnights and the color of the sunsets, the smell of bakeshops early in the morning, the frosty breeze of the fast-approaching winter, the warmth of oven when baking Christmas cookies, the thickness of paper when flipping through magazine pages, the smell of new books and new clothes and new things. When you start looking at things, really really looking, you’ll start living. Because then you’ll understand how it is to really be a human in this world full of people.
In the season of autumn we first realize how beautiful it is to let things go and to move on.
I know it hurts to let it all go but darling, can you not see the beauty in it? The beauty of something new and great that will grow out of it to fill the emptiness.
Sometimes, you are sad and raw. Other times, you are wild with Autumn in your veins. Either way, you are unforgettably beautiful. I wish you would know all the things I would do for you. I wish you would know that I could even die for you.
sheeriouslyguys
